Keeping the Marriage Alive with Date Nights

When two people find themselves spending less and less alone time together it can seriously undermine the happiness of a marriage. One solution to this is to carve out a special day of the week or even once a month that is just for them – a date night.

Date nights are not designed to be burdensome. They are a chance for a couple to reconnect in a busy world where their jobs and children (if any) dominate their time to the point where they often feel the only times they see each other is right before turning off the bedside lamp. Bed becomes just a place for sleep and even the mere thought of romance is exhausting.
To make date nights a success both partners need to be able to set aside one particular night of the week that work or life in general won’t get in the way of. This may take some compromise on the part of one or both partners, but as the marriage is going to be all the better for having a date night it is important enough to make it a priority. Provided the night chosen works well for both partners the date can be started off on a relaxed note. If it can be arranged to do weekly that is good but if once every two weeks or even once a month is all a couple can manage that will work too. It just takes commitment from both partners to ensure nothing gets in the way of their date.

Couple drinking coffee and having fun dateDate nights can be as simple as having someone take the children for the night and then renting a movie, making some popcorn, pouring a glass of wine and curling up in pajamas on the couch. It can also be as elaborate as getting dressed up in best outfits and dining at a fine restaurant that offers a romantic atmosphere, great food and beautiful music to dance to should the mood inspire dancing. The planning of a date night can be almost as fun as the actual doing. Each partner can suggest several things they would like to do together and then a list can be made, with each date night one partner gets to choose which one they want them to do that night. The next date night the other partner gets to choose.
Date nights, although typically spent alone together, can also be shared with other married couples who need to get away from the stresses of their home life, jobs and children. Being able to sit around a table and have a few drinks, share some great food and talk about anything that doesn’t involve children or work is good for everyone concerned. For couples who are able to have a weekly date night it can be fun to make one date night a month one where you get together with others. Adults need grown up conversations away from the workplace and home settings.

Date at restaurant and wine

Date nights do not always have to be about romance. If romance has been sadly lacking naturally it will be good to inject some new romance into the marriage but it can be just as beneficial to be silly and laugh on a date night. Going out to the movies and choosing a comedy to watch will be both relaxing and good for your health. Laughter is good for relaxing tense muscles, reducing stress and also for sharing with your loved one. Another fun thing to do that might not be considered romantic is to go rollerblading or ice skating. An amusement park can be a fun way to spend date night, ending with ice cream. Being young and carefree at least for a few hours will help you remember what attracted you to each other in the first place.
One thing that is important to consider when choosing what to do on a date night is that both partners need to be able to enjoy whatever it is that you choose to do. It is not a good thing for one partner to want to watch a live football game when they know their partner hates football. Similarly it is just as important that the football-hating partner doesn’t just go along to make their partner happy. The purpose of a date night is to do something fun, romantic and relaxing together that both partners will enjoy equally. Date nights should be something looked forward to and if one partner finds themselves dreading date nights the entire point of a date night is lost.

Date nights do not have to be at night. While dinner and a movie are typically embarked upon at night it can be just as fun to have an entire day set aside to spend alone together. You could begin with a hot, cooked breakfast at a nice little Inn in the countryside and then drive to somewhere special to spend the day relaxing. Spending a couple of hours on a boat on the lake is a great way to ensure you get right away from any interruptions and distractions. While leaving your cell phones at home is not practical, particularly if you have children, you can both turn them to vibrate/silent and only answer them in an emergency. Provided the person minding your children is capable it is highly likely that you can safely spend several hours away from them without worrying about their wellbeing.
At least once a year try to fit in a date ‘weekend’. Though this can be extremely difficult for some couples to manage, particularly if they have children, the value of a weekend away from everything and everyone that is associated with your normal everyday life can provide you both with a much needed time to reconnect both emotionally and physically. Marriage takes work but that doesn’t mean it has to be all work and no play. Leaving on a Friday afternoon and not returning until Sunday or Monday night will give you both a much needed rest from the hustle and bustle of life and give you time to get back to what is important for the two of you – your marriage and love for one another.